I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
