dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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