? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
