Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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