New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
