The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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