And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
