I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
