We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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