I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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