I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
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did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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