I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
