I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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