He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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