if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
