i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
