I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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