I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
