this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
