i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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