the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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