I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize