im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I hope mine doesn't look like that
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
