Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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