you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
