this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
