I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
