last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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