He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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