i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
