I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
