Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
