Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
