i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
