the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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