you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize