Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
We got so high we made milksteak
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
