You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
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I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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