i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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