nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
