Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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