I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
