im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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