dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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