I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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