when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
