That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
