Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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