end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
