I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
