Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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