if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
