The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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