God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
