just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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