I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
