U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish you could order shots online.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I have post one night stand depression
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